scatter my ashes to the wind
do u ever lie on ur side and a small tear leaks out and ur just like whoa wtf body I know I’m sad but not that sad
Sure. I’m game.
Why the fuck not? It’s not like anyone’s going to take me up on this anyway.
DO IT I DARE U
Not expecting anything so sure
my Dad makes dad jokes but because hes a physics teacher theyre not common dad jokes
"hey dad, whats up?"
"Up is a directional vector with no force"
What do people even talk about on dates
i am ready to date
when you strip down naked in an elevator and u know everyone is checking you out
plot twist: santa actually brings you the naked celebrity you asked for and you have to awkwardly unwrap them in front of your entire family
Totally worth it.
People who are younger than you but taller
People who are younger than you but better than you at something
People who are younger than you
Being turned into a llama
A LLAMA?! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!
I think this is my favourite post in the history of ever.
so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy